I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
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