She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
Randomize
