now i know why i became what i already was.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
