Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
