you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
