dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
