is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
I take back everything I said about communal showers
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Randomize
