Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
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