3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
