Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
i am craving dick and cupcakes
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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