If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
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