I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
