Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
