Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Randomize
