i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
