theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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