Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
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