Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
Heard at work: Get out of my face before I cuntpunch you so hard your granddaughters have miscarriages. I love my job.
I'm moving there. Get me hired.
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
Randomize
