and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Randomize
