please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
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