drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
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