So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
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