he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
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