im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
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