Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
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