I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
Watching her eat just hurts me
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
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