she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
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