Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize