Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
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