we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize
