She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
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