I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Randomize
