i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Randomize
