I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Randomize