By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Randomize
