My first STD was from a foam party
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
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