the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Randomize
