just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
he thought i was a dude.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
Randomize
