you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
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