Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
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