another moral hangover. fuck.
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
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