Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize