you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
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