The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
