i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
why do cheetos always look like penises
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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