you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Randomize
