Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

Sorry ebitch hasn't picked any favorites yet.

ADVERTISEMENT

(416): View more from Ontario

She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.

Fav 10 3686 1769
share tweet
(918): View more from Oklahoma

i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.

Fav 65 10101 1011
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(480): View more from Arizona

We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet

Fav 5 1879 840
share tweet
(647): View more from Ontario

I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.

Fav 7 1515 847
share tweet
(760): View more from California

I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.

Fav 3 671 1594
share tweet
(302): View more from Delaware

Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.

Fav 4 1431 808
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(203): View more from Connecticut

Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.

Fav 1 1191 677
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(801): View more from Utah

I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.

Fav 1 35 69
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(770): View more from Georgia

I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over

(770): View more from Georgia

Probably Waffle House

Fav 0 45 33
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT