So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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