if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
