so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
actually, I'm a sock model
they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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