On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
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