Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
Randomize
