My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
Randomize
