Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Randomize
