dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
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