I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
I'm drive I can fine osifer
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Randomize