after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Randomize
