It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
