you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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